If you know me, you'll know that I am mainly a woman of science (and emotions). Rarely do I attribute things to a higher power, nor do I pray for things to turn out a certain way. I am the one to tell you that you are the controller of your own destiny, and that things happen for a reason, but because of some unexplained karma/cosmos/what will be will be theory. However, despite my beliefs (and non-beliefs), my family received two Christmas gifts last night that have shaken me to my core.
Gift #1: Health.
My Uncle J. has been battling transitional cell carcinoma of the kidney for the past year. Now, my uncle is not the poster child of good health practices, but the man is only 46 years old. He may be a big, hot-headed tough guy, but throw the word CANCER at any man and he'll be knocked to the ground. It was a very difficult diagnosis. He had an initial surgery that removed a kidney, ureter, and part of the bladder last year. After the surgery, he was told that the cancer was contained (yay!) and that he would not need any further intervention. He recovered fairly well from this surgery, with little complications. A few months later, he went for a follow-up, and told his oncologist that he had been having some sternal pain when coughing. An MRI revealed metastases to the bone, particularly the sternum and cervical spine. Shit. A whirlwind of tests and evaluations led to a round or two of unsuccessful chemo, followed unsuccessful radiation. Throw in unemployment for both him and his wife, and you'll see how 2010 was a pretty shitty year. After the few unsuccessful therapies, he was referred for gamma knife radiation therapy, which he completed a few weeks ago. Last night, which could have been the saddest Christmas eve ever if yet another therapy had failed him, Uncle J and Auntie R delivered the news that the tumor metastasis to the sternum was dead. The radiation worked! He has to go for an excisional biopsy and cervical laminectomy in January, after which he will head up to Boston to see a transitional cell specialist and get a consult for what is hopefully a last round of chemo. As dysfunctional as my family can be at holidays, last night we were all smiles, and for good reason. I'm not sure if it was the green grapes we ate on New Years Day 2010, or the shots we take for good health whenever we're together, but something has finally come through.
Gift #2: Prosperity.
My Nonna is an amazing woman. At age 22, she came over on the Julius Caesar II by herself from Italy to find a job for herself and a home for her family (my dad and Nonno) who would follow her over months later. She settled in Providence, learned English, held a steady job, and a raised a family of three, against all odds. She faced the adversity of being an immigrant, and did it all with a smile, well kept hair, and high heels. She became a grandmother to three and still managed to balance her busy work life with caring for her grandchildren AND putting a three course meal on the table every sunday for the entire family. At age 62, Nonna became a widow after Nonno suffered a very unexpected heart attack after what was meant to be a benign surgical procedure. Her world was shattered. All the things she had worked for and accomplished in her lifetime were for her family, the leader of which had left her without warning or goodbye. What I would know of her after Nonno's death was a somber woman of mourning. She wore black for five years, at least, and still refuses to celebrate herself when we offer her gifts. My Nonno's ashes are in an urn in the dining room, and there is always a candle lit and a greeting card to him for every holiday. She kisses the urn hello and goodbye when she comes and goes.
Now, when Nonno died, they were both still working. The house was no where near being paid off, and there were not many (if any) financial assets. This led to Nonna having to work a full time job just to keep afloat. Working in the jewelry business, she was good with her hands, and after her company closed, she looked for more of the same work. She got a job working for a small manufacturing company that has treated her and all its employees like shit, paying not more than minimum wage and forcing work on holidays. Calls to the labor board have been unsuccessful, since complaints need to come from employees and everyone is scared to call. My Nonna, bless her, can be so stubborn, and has never been able to admit or doing anything about how horribly she is treated as an employee. She is 74 years old, and still works doing what I believe to be slave labor when all I want is for her to be able to retire and spend her days reading and cooking and doing whatever she wants.
Enter Uncle Pat. Nonna's younger brother, never married, and often the butt of our (loving) jokes. Pat is a vietnam vet who is kind of a drifter. He is known in the Providence Italian community as 'that guy.' He can always be found at one bar or another, gambling here, drinking there. He has never had a real job, working 'under the radar' and living off is non-service related diability from the VA. We often joke that Uncle Pat is 'connected,' since his circle of people is probably in the 'family business.' Anyway, Uncle Pat has had many health problems over the years, suffering from multiple heart attacks. Again, like Uncle J, he was never the picture of good health, since tobacco and alcohol are on his daily menu.
Last month, he goes to the bank to withdraw his disability pay, but nothing is there. He goes to the VA, hooks up with a case worker who takes a look at his file. The case worker has a hunch, and sends Uncle Pat to a VA physician for a detailed evaluation. The physician concludes that his years of cardiovascular events are consistent with Agent Orange syndrome. Bottom line? All these years, Uncle Pat should have been receiving service-related disability. He was discharged in 1964, and the VA have been in touch to tell him that he will be receiving 36 years of back payments, as well as the correct disability amount until he dies. Uncle Pat will be receiving a check for close to $1 million.
Uncle Pat visits Nonna to tell her this news. He is in total shock, and she is soon to be the same. He tells her that it has always been his dream for his older sister to retire and never have to work or worry about the $100,000 mortgage left on her home. He gives her a proposition, but with a catch. He wants to pay off her mortgage, the catch being that she has to leave her job and actually retire. Nonna tells us this news last night around the dinner table with tears in her eyes, and soon we all follow suit. I'm not sure what I am more in awe of. The fact that my Nonna, who has worked tirelessly since 1959 to make a life for her family while sacrificing her own peace of mind, will finally be putting up her feet. Or the fact that Uncle Pat, who has never been much of a man of substance, wants nothing more than to take care of his older sister's finances. All I know is that all of our Christmas wishes have come true this year.
Ironically, my dad's side of the family decided not to exchange gifts this year, instead all giving a joint gift to Nonna (a flat screen TV). Apparently, though, somebody/something didn't want us to go without, and we all got the gifts that everyone wishes for every year: health & prosperity.
Wishing you ALL health & happiness this Christmas. May you all be humbled as I was about the meaning of the season.
XO,
AJL
No comments:
Post a Comment